boring diet page, formerly known as the lo carblog.

I've been in the Official Foomart Test Kitchen working on some recipes to post here. One's almost there; we've got to eat this beta batch and then I'll make the next one which should be the Gold Master. The other might be there already; I've just got to try it out with the recipe as I've written it down and make sure I didn't miss anything. I think it's right but want to test it before I post.
binki 2:25 PM |

Anyway, enough about me, let's get to today's DaVinci
syrup review. This morning's featured flavor is German Chocolate Cake. I bought it a) because I wasn't satisfied with the DaVinci Chocolate flavor, and their White Chocolate, though delicious, isn't chocolate at all, and b) because I thought it'd be funny to have that alongside the French Vanilla, English Toffee and Danish Pastry. Which it is. But the flavor of the German Chocolate is kind of gross. It's like their regular Chocolate but with a coconut element to it that makes the whole thing just taste artificial to me. Thumbs down. I guess my search for the best chocolate is going to have to extend to Torani
and maybe even Nature's Flavors, though I've heard nothing but bad about their flavors, to the point of people pouring them down the drain, or Atkins, who tend to make really nasty food products, all of which I've hated. (here, an evil memory of the utterly unpalatable Atkins shake mix makes me shudder) I'm thinking Torani. They've been at it a long time, and they have an Almond Roca flavor which intrigues me as well.
binki 8:55 AM |

Yesterday was the best day ever, carbwise, thanks to: MEAT! I knew we were going out to dinner with friends so I kept the numbers down during the day, and then we went to a French bistro where I had steak frites with spinach instead of the frites. A big hunk o' cow, full me, zero carbs. Excellent. I think I was still in the single digits when I got home...so I had a piece of pie. Still way under 20 for the day, and beside my normal daily exercise and yoga, we walked from the bus station all the way up the hill and home so I feel very virtuous indeed.

Another erstwhile Echoid saw me online and said hi, so we got to talking. I told her about the blog and her first reaction was a strong anti-Atkins one. Her objection seems not to be with the substance of the diet but with its popularity, and the way its adherents tend to talk about it all the damn time at parties. Personally, I think it would be stupid to not do something just because it's popular. Besides, I maintain I'm bending over backwards to cater to people who don't like Atkins. I've got the whole topic segregated over here and the other blog is pretty much 100% Atkins free. Don't wanna read it? Don't click the link. E-Z. I likened the low-carb thing to born-again Xtians. People do something, love it, it works for them, and they think it'll work for you so they want to tell you about it. I think low-carbers have a little more perspective, though; it's an awful lot easier to get an Atkins person to talk about something else than a Jehovah's Witness. I know at parties I tend to talk extensively about it with other people who are doing it or are interested in it. I'm thrilled about it; it's finally something I can talk with authority about at parties. If their spouses come by and, upon hearing the topic, roll their eyes and walk away, that's fine with me. I do the same thing when they start talking about babies.
binki 7:44 AM |

So I was looking through my old Betty Crocker's Boys and Girls Cookbook yesterday, to show B what Rocket Salad looked like. Among the amusing things in the book was a statement about the four food groups and the postscript:

Don't forget fats, sweets and extra servings from the four groups—they provide additional food energy and food values.

I thought that was very dated and funny, and a sure recipe for big fat American kids which you'd never hear these days. How naive of me.
binki 1:25 PM |

I would like to restate, for the record, that homemade yogurt, made with half and half, is the FOOD OF THE GODS. Thank you.
binki 12:46 PM |

Had a bit of a carby blowout yesterday, so I tried to be a bit more careful today (and still got close to 40.) I've got to watch out for spaghetti squash and Quorn tenders. Much as I enjoy both of them, they seem to always be involved when I go over 40 grams in a day. It was good food, though, and worth it. I don't think it knocked me out of ketosis, but I wanted to take it easy today. Unfortunately, I had the leftover Quorn paprikash from a couple of days ago for lunch and that was highly carbfull. Fortunately, I punched that meal into Diet Sleuth before making dinner so I knew I was pushing my limits for today and didn't mess up two days in a row. I think tomorrow will be easier because it's just me in the house. Not that I'm complaining or blaming, mind you. Eating good food with good friends is worth it all.
binki 9:30 PM |

I'm getting impatient with my progress. I'm losing, apparently, but want it all to happen faster. My conclusion is that I'm burning fat, as evidenced by the ketostix, but not fast enough, so it's high time I worked in some cardio. So I dug my old rowing machine out of the garage. It's been at least five years since I used the poor dusty rusty thing. I was amazed how high the tension was set on it; it's good to remember I can get that buff with a little practice. I set the tension back a bit and then did a gentle half hour in front of the TV and feel (and smell!) very strong indeed. If I can keep this up I'll be where I want to be by my birthday... don't want to count those particular chickens just yet, though. I did it today and that's what counts. Yay me.

No candy bars last night, no cravings today, incidentally.

binki 2:33 PM |

I was hungry all day, a long-lasting case of the munchies with no good reason to exist. I think it may be true what they say about diet candy causing cravings. I think I'll lay off the stuff for a while.

binki 5:19 PM |

Quickie snack review. Hormel Turkey Pepperoni: Dry. Phooey. Stick with the regular kind for eating out of hand. I'll use it in omelets or something, I think, where it can be there for flavor but not texture.

binki 12:26 PM |

Oh, and the report after the Carbolite bar: a little sound and fury, but it didn't signify anything, if you catch my drift. I guess they're not quite as kind digestively as the Z-Carb bars, but they're not anywhere as terrifying as the sugar-free Reese's when eaten in quantity. Let's say a Carbolite bar is about equivalent to one low-carb Reese's PB cup. (As opposed to six low-carb Reese's PB cups, which had a Tijuana-like effect that I hope never to relive.)

There's one thing I worry about. It's given that the sugar alcohols aren't counted against your carb count because they aren't absorbed, as evidenced by the Wrexx-N-Effect they tend to have. The whole thing about people taking Beano so they can eat the candy without the GI distress, and then finding themselves popping out of ketosis and stalling or worse is related to this. So, then, what about my beloved Erythritol? The whole point of it is that it doesn't cause CYP, as they say. How, then, are we sure we don't have to count its carbs?

I've been in ketosis for months now, pretty much without a break that I know of, and I eat a lot of the stuff, but I'd like to see this question addressed in a real way. I posted it to the TLC boards but they got killed before anyone ever responded.
binki 9:39 AM |

Here's a helpful hint. If you're on Atkins, you should be drinking an awful lot of water to flush out all those ketones you're producing, an absolute minimum of 64 ounces a day plus another 8 for every 25 pounds you want to lose. If you're not drinking enough water, and you're stalling, that's why. One side effect of all the water, though, is that it washes all the potassium out of your system, and that can lead to leg cramps. If you've looked into potassium supplements, you've surely noticed that each pill is a lousy 3% of the USRDA and you'd have to go through a bottle every three days to get all your potassium that way, and screw that. And of course bananas aren't allowed on Atkins. If you look at the (PDF) USDA list, sorted by potassium content, most of the foods near the top aren't either. (Beet greens are, though, that's interesting, and to my surprise bananas don't appear until the third page.) So what do you do? Try a salt substitute. The one I use is called Nu-Salt and it tastes pretty much just like regular salt, but it's potassium chloride instead of sodium chloride. It's still not 100% of your USRDA unless you use an awful lot of it, but it's a simple little lifestyle change you can make for the better.
binki 9:19 AM |

I'm warily eating a Carbolite (aka Carborite) Dark Chocolate bar. Just two net carbs, and sweetened at least partially with Splenda, but the first ingredient is Maltitol so I may have to flip the hazard placard on my office door to Flammable Gas later tonight. I was going to stop after half the bar but I soldiered on for science, and for you. No sacrifice is too great, especially when there is chocolate involved. It's yummy, in any case, and would be divine broken into pieces to serve as chocolate chips or maybe melted to make a tofu chocolate pie.

B also got some Vital Wheat Gluten and some TVP crumblies at the health food store, so there will be new recipes anon.
binki 11:06 PM |

Ah, fuck it, I had the cheesecake. I think my calories were too low without it, and I'm not interested in going into starvation mode. I'm at 25.9 carb grams for the day and I'm stopping there. Mmmmm...Cheesecake.

binki 7:19 PM |

Here's a dilemma I'm having. You know the whole "it takes 20 minutes for your stomach to tell your brain that it's full" thing. Well, extensive testing on my part over decades has proven that my stomach doesn't talk nearly so fast. It takes a good hour if not more before I actually feel full, no matter how much I eat.

The dilemma is the whole Carb Addicts concept of eating your main carb meal within one hour to minimize insulin spikes. This made sense to me, once I read where they were coming from with the insulin levels. But the problem is, in order to do that within-the-hour thing I have to eat dinner and then dessert immediately. And then an hour later I find out whether or not I should have had the dessert. This is bad. I eat more dessert than I probably should this way. On the one hand, I guess if it's within the hour it's doing minimal harm, but on the other hand, maybe I just wouldn't have it at all if I just waited. On the other other hand, dessert has been a signal to my body that mealtime is over ever since I stopped smoking a million years ago and lost the ability to tell when I was full. So maybe I stay hungry until I have something sweet? I dunno. A lot of questions today and not very many answers.
binki 7:05 PM |

I promise, I deliver. This morning I had a product I ordered by mistake: Gram's Gourmet's Cream of Flax, in the Cinnamon Toast flavor. Like their Maple and Brown Sugar flavor, this one has three grams of net carbs. It's also a bit more expensive at Netrition than the Flax-O-Meal Cinnamon and Spice flavor that I usually get, but there's a place called
Low Carb Care, which I've never tried, who seem to have it for cheaper. The texture of the Gram's Gourmet products is a bit smoother and more creamy than the Flax-O-Meal hot cereals, so if those were too nutty for you this may be a nice option. I liked it, but not enough to get it again. I'll stick with the Flax-O-Meal and save the carbs and dollars. They're all loaded with fiber and protein and wholesome goodness.

I had it with the usual cream and another new product for me: DaVinci Cinnamon flavor. It's not dyed red like the Red Hot Cinnamon, and the taste is totally different. This one tastes like the spice where the Red Hot flavor tastes like the candy. It's a little bit weird to sweeten something with cinnamon flavor but it works. It's tasty on hot cereal and will be very useful in baking. I think cinnamon-sweetened whipped cream would also be good on pumpkin pie, and double-plus-good on apple pie if there's any way to de-carb that.
binki 10:58 AM |

Damn damn damn. The Talking Low Carb boards are closed for good. What a shame. It was about the only low-carb message board out there that wasn't infested with giant sparkly sigs and animated huggy icons. The other ones are uniformly infantile and ill-informed. All the smart scientific types were at the TLC boards. If anybody finds out where the people from the TLC boards end up, please tell me. It's a bad day for the low-carb world, and I'm damned disappointed with Low Carb Luxury for pulling the plug on such a useful resource. I've taken both sites out of my blogroll. (Yeah, I know, I can hear them weeping from here.)
binki 10:05 PM |

Did I say stay under 30 carbs for the day? I meant stay in the 30s. I had about 35 today, and that's without the Yogurt Exception, so my carb count is actually lower than that. I think that's good enough, especially since I was in the 20s the last few days and I exercised some today and plan to do more in an hour or so after dinner settles. I also think the USDA's counts for the broccoli must be very wrong, or I punched in the amounts wrong or something; there's no way there's 11g of net carbs in there. Oh, I know, I bet it was the shallots. Fortunately, I didn't eat most of mine. Bet I'm under 30 grams for the day after all.

I'm sorry, I know the navelgazing numbers stuff is hella boring. I promise to have some recipes and/or product reviews in the near future.
binki 8:38 PM |

B went across the way to party with a friend, and I stayed home to drink protein shakes and do yoga. Am I growing up? getting old? or just finally making that gossamer connection between Cause and Effect, after all these years?

Having software to give me running totals helps a LOT, incidentally. It's a lot easier to stay within limits when you know before you eat something whether it'll throw you off or not. It's also a concrete challenge, to make today's numbers better than yesterday's. Diet Sleuth is still rough around the edges and un-Mac-like in a lot of ways, but it works, and the developer has a message board and responds there, always a good thing.
binki 11:04 PM |

Woohoo! B was in Duane Reade and apparently they stock Z-Carb bars now, and he brought me a pair of them. I ate the milk chocolate with almonds, and am saving the dark chocolate for later. If it's true what they say, they have zero carbs and since they're made with erythritol and inulin they don't have the infamous CYP effect. I'll report back later this evening if that's not true. I'm sure the world is waiting with bated breath for THAT post.
binki 4:58 PM |

I love this Diet Sleuth software. I punched in what I had for dinner when I got home and calculated that I had enough headroom for a nice piece of FFCC met slagroom, so that's what I ate. I'm still under 30 for the day, and that rocks. Shoot for 20 and definitely stay under 30, that's my plan and it's working pretty well so far, especially now that I'm really keeping careful track.
binki 1:01 AM |

A Valentine's Day party, now there's a challenge for the low-carber. Pink heart-shaped cookies and pink-frosted red velvet cupcakes and candy galore, the whole gamut from SweeTarts Hearts to Sweethearts Tarts.

Me, I ate all the cauliflower from the crudite and drank a couple liters of seltzer and finished out the day with fewer carbs than I'd had the day before. It's really not that hard, once you think of sugar as poison. It's very easy to pass up those gummy candy hearts that really are kind of gross but you always eat them anyway, just because they're there.
binki 11:34 AM |

It's been a while, so here's today's DaVinci syrup review: raspberry. I like it a lot. It tastes like real raspberries, not like that bad raspberry candy flavor you might fear. It's heavily dyed, which is a bit of a downer, and not very strong, so you have to use more than you might expect to. The flavor is very good, though. I had it today on Flax-O-Meal pancakes and was pleased with it. It'll also be good in sodas and maybe combined with chocolate or swizzled over ice cream.
binki 11:48 AM |

Did you know Ben & Jerry's has a low-carb line out now? Tried the Chocolate tonight and it was doggone delicious, with Flourless Fudgy Chocolate Cake and whipped cream. I look forward to laying into the stuff night after night when it gets warmer out.

Mac users might be interested in a thingy called Diet Sleuth. It's a nice calculator with all the USDA information already in it. You can keep track of what you eat, and it'll calculate portions from recipes if you punch those in. The only downside I see so far is that it doesn't have a slot for things like sugar alcohols, so my total today is a bit higher than it should be. I downloaded and registered it today (shareware, $35, and they take PayPal play money) and have been punching in all my specialty products, the Flax-O-Meal, the Keto shakes, all the stuff I eat these days. I made a couple of recipes from Dana Carpender's book and punched them in, along with Myra's Cheesecake and the FFCC, which recipe isn't online right now while the Talking Low Carbs boards are down, so I hope you wrote it down. Maybe I'll post it here, with my modifications, but that won't be tonight, dear. I have a headache.
binki 9:46 PM |

See? Told ya.

binki 12:05 PM |

I implemented a new lifestyle improvement this morning. Instead of cappuccino with 3 to 4 ounces of steamed milk, I'm going to have espresso with a squirt of whipped cream from now on. The whipper came in, and it's just as perfect as I'd hoped it would be. The espresso itself works out to something like 2 grams. I reckon the carbs in the milk were around 4 or 5 every day, and the whipped cream is more like a gram. Actually, less. A whole cup of whipped cream is 3.35 grams, and I'm using a small fraction of that, but I think it's wise to round up. How awesome is it to live in a world where whipped cream is a better choice than milk? It's easier, too, and might mean me actually making the coffee once in a while instead of B doing it every day. I can pull the espresso shots no problem, but I'm rubbish at making good foamed milk.

This, and the smaller slices of cheesecake, should mean faster weight loss, especially now that it's thinking about getting nice out again and I might be occasionally persuaded to leave the house.
binki 11:42 AM |

Man, I stink! That's the one thing I've definitely noticed about this whole diet thing. I haven't had "keto breath" as far as I can tell, though I've been paranoid about it and have been brushing my teeth more (which the dentist I saw back when I had insurance would agree is something I should do anyway) so I'm not really sure. But my sweat is STANKY. I don't usually mind the smell of my own sweat but this has a sort of burnt-rubber funk to it. I remember it did something similar back when I fasted for a few days. At the time I thought it was toxins being released, which this may also be. I figure assuming the fat burns off in the reverse order in which I acquired it, I'm working through the late 90s by now, and I think I consumed a fair amount of toxins then. Either that, or it's the natural smell of ketones. In any case, as long as I'm home by myself I'm encouraging it by drinking lots of water and sweating freely. (I put on antiperspirant when I'm going to see people, so don't worry; I'm not a WMD all the time.) Just thought I'd share this in case anybody else had the same thing.
binki 11:33 AM |

Dr. Atkins wasn't OBESE when he died, he was BLOATED from being pumped full of fluids through a tube because he was in a COMA. Anybody that tells you otherwise has an ax to grind and shouldn't be trusted.
binki 4:33 PM |

I was in Bloodbath and Beyond last night and weighed in—I'm down 7 pounds from the last time I checked. I was surprised and, honestly, mildly disappointed with that number, but hey, different body shape, looser clothes, muscle weighs more than fat and all that.

More importantly, I made the Flourless Fudgy Chocolate Cake again last night and it came out much moister and better than the last time when it stuck into the muffin tins and was all crumbly and dry. I still fucked it up by unmolding it too early but even in its imperfect physical shape it tasted much better than it had the last time. I used DaVinci syrups for part of the sweetener, added a shot of espresso, and, and this may be the big trick, added a bit of cream to the mix. Further research will be needed, of course, but I think I'm onto something.
binki 11:32 AM |

Hey! Diet Cheerwine is sweetened with Splenda now! That's great news to any low-carbers south of the Manson-Nixon line.
binki 4:45 PM |

There are a couple of misconceptions that have been bugging me lately. One is that Atkins doesn't differentiate between different kinds of fat and encourages only saturated animal fats. Horsefeathers. They are very clear that you should eat "good" fats and lean meats, and the more research you do on the subject the more people you'll find talking about supplementing them even further with things like flaxseed oil and essential fatty acids and stuff.

The other myth is that you can't eat vegetables on Atkins, which of course is utter folderol, and you'd have to be a moron to repeat that kind of nonsense. Well, it turns out there are a lot of morons out there. To set the record straight for the people who find this site with low-carb-related queries: veggies are good. Olive oil is good. Don't believe the hype; it's the morons who don't read the books, eat nothing but cheeseburgers and pork rinds for a week, and then complain that Atkins caused their constipation who are telling you these things. Read the books, have some broccoli, don't be a moron.
binki 4:22 PM |

I really like this article, even though she's in Weight Watchers, which makes me sad because that kind of deprivation dieting always seems to just lead to disappointment—and, of course, more Weight Watchers. But, different strokes and all, whatever works. I definitely agree that if I could get the hang of not clearing my plate (or those of my dining companions) I'd be in a better place weightwise.

Or not. I noticed today that as my face gets thinner, more and more lines appear on it. Wish I'd known about Atkins before I got old. Wish I could have skipped the fat years. Oh well.
binki 4:35 PM |

This permalink doesn't quite work, but scroll down to January 29 to see a completely kickass recipe. I'm totally making this as soon as the fridge isn't full of leftovers.
binki 3:19 PM |

This morning for breakfast I had Gram's Gourmet Cream of Flax, maple and brown sugar flavor. Those of you that knew me as a yoot may remember how I used to love the Quaker Oats version. I used to eat it dry out of the packet. The Gram's Gourmet version does not work in the same way at all! It's made of flaxseed, and that definitely needs to cook a little bit before you eat it, assuming that if you're reading this you're not a bird. (Birds hate blogs.) And it's not loaded with sugar like the Quaker version. All that said, as an adult, I love the stuff. I add some cinnamon, sweetener (DaVinci pancake syrup flavor), and a splash of cream and that shit is HOOKED UP. It's too expensive, of course, as are too many low-carb products, but I think it's worth it healthwise. I don't tend to get hungry for a couple hours after I eat the stuff. It's got hree grams of net carbs per serving, which is a little higher than the Flax-O-Meal but I'm fine with that.

I'm planning a Netrition order, so if any of the usual suspects want to add some stuff to it, drop me a lion*. I want to hit $75 so I can get a T-shirt.

*Dang, I wanted to link to Sandra Boynton, but her site redirects to another site where she's selling not cute drawings but CDs of children's music. Boooooooo!
* * *
Okay, it's the wrong one (I think the lion one belonged to someone else, possibly someone named after a legume) but how scary is it that I still have this and was able to find it within minutes?
binki 9:44 AM |

I'm amazed that there aren't more low-carb weblogs out there. It seems like such a logical way to meld two trends. I found this one and
this one but that's pretty much it. Know any other lo-carb blogs? Hit the ??? below this post and spread the word.

There are tons of low-carb websites out there, of course, as a quick Google will show you. Most have recipes and some sort of message board. They're great places to get your questions answered, and a good source of recipes, especially the ones with user feedback and tweaks, but they will probably also make you hungry if you read them too much. It's worth it, though, for whatever kind of pushing you need, be it a challenge or just reading about other people doing the same thing.

My favorite is Low Carb Luxury, but their excellent
forums are down until next week. Other message boards include the ones at Low Carb Chefs, Low Carb Pavilion, the Low Carb Cafe, Low Carber.org, Low Carb for Life... do a Google search, check out the different boards, and maybe find the one that feels right for you. These boards are a great resource. Why reinvent the wheel; there are a zillion low-carbers out there who've tried the products already so you don't have to spend money on something that may taste like cardboard. There tend to be fora for people at every stage and with every goal imaginable. If you can stomach the cutesy avatars, there's a lot of information out there.
binki 9:06 AM |

What? A day without a DaVinci review? Perish the thought! Today's featured flavor is Danish Pastry. It tastes like a danish smells, like the pastry part tastes, sort of a sweet vanilla citrusy flavor that can only be described as Danish Pastry. It's a champ in coffee, obviously, there's that whole symbiotic thing going on, and is also good in yogurt, a fresh batch of which should just be finishing up downstairs.
binki 8:42 PM |

Oh, and P.S., the pumpkin pie? Came out famously. I made the low-carb variation with heavy cream instead of the evaporated milk. Maple-sweetened whipped cream on top (way too much, as usual, but I've ordered a whipped cream maker so that habit's on its way out, and NO you may not use it to do whip-its) and still warm from the oven... it hit the spot.

An important tip: really let the nuts for the crust go for a while so they get ground up into a fine meal. If there are still big bits the crust won't hold together when you try to take the pie out of the pan. This one came out the best of the many nut crusts I've made in the last month or two.
binki 10:35 PM |

Incidentally, in case you link directly to this page and hadn't noticed, the BDP is a proper blog now with archives and comments and all that good stuff. Not like anybody ever uses that stuff, but at least it's there and this page won't get any longer. So, you're welcome.
binki 10:26 PM |

Important thing to know: if you are NOT adversely affected by sugar-free candies (gas, bloating, diarrhea, etc.) that means you are absorbing the sugar alcohols and therefore should not subtract them from the total carb count. So beware. I've heard of people taking Beano so they could eat more diet candy...whoops. Guess that plan backfired. So to speak.
binki 9:59 PM |

Welcome to an old friend who's climbing on board the low-carb train, I think. One of us, one of us! Here are a couple of
resources comparing the different types of plans. I know people who read this are on Atkins, Carb Addicts and
South Beach diets--different things work for different lifestyles and goals. I'm doing Atkins, with its sustained ketosis, because peeing on a Keto-Stik every day keeps me honest. I'd rather see the stick turn pink and know I'm in ketosis than have a donut or something and blow it. I also prefer to be strict about the carbs; adding more in just means too much math so I try to eat stuff that's low in carbs all the time as opposed to adding it all up and trying to use a certain amount per day. But that's me. The friends who started all this (see the first entry in the archives) are on Carb Addicts and can eat a box of donuts every night if they want, and they've lost a tremendous amount of weight, so there ya go. (To be fair, though, they had other life factors involved that may have added to the remarkable pound shedding.)

Per request, here's the recipe for the pie I'm baking now. Ingredient substitutions are listed, equipment substitutions are up to you if you don't have a mixer and/or food processor. You can mix it with a bowl and spoon, but if you don't have a processor you may want to buy almond meal instead of whole almonds.

Pumpkin Pie

  1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. That's not a typo.

Ingredient on Can*	Low Carb Ovo-Lacto Version	Low Carb Vegan Version
1 9" deep dish pie crust	3 T butter 1 t Splenda 1.5 cups of nuts: almonds, walnuts, or any combination	2T Crisco 1 t Splenda 1.5 cups nuts
1 can pumpkin	1 can pumpkin	1 can pumpkin
3 eggs	3 eggs	1 block tetra-pak tofu, silken style
1 cup sugar or brown sugar	1 cup Splenda, or better yet, 1/2 cup Splenda and 1/4 cup erythritol	1 cup Splenda, or better yet, 1/2 cup Splenda and 1/4 cup erythritol
1/2 t salt 1 t cinnamon 1/4 t ground cloves 1/4 t ground nutmeg 1/4 t ground ginger	1/2 t salt 1 t cinnamon 1/4 t ground cloves 1/4 t ground nutmeg 1/4 t ground ginger	1/2 t salt 1 t cinnamon 1/4 t ground cloves 1/4 t ground nutmeg 1/4 t ground ginger
1 cup evaporated milk	1 cup evaporated milk or 1 cup cream	nada, it's all in the tofu

*Yeah, I use pumpkin from a can. If you have a problem with that, you can just leave now. No pie for you!

  2. Make pie crust: put nuts into food processor and whirl until they're a powder but not yet a paste. Apologize to cats who've just beat cheeks out of the kitchen at the sudden huge noise. Add butter (or Crisco) and 1 T of Splenda. Pulse in food processor until butter is combined and it clings together, then dump into pie pan and patiently spread across bottom and sides of pie pan with spatula and fingers. It might help to pop the pan in the fridge for a little while.

  3. Combine eggs (or tofu), sweetener, and all spices in mixer or bowl, and beat well.

  4. Beat in pumpkin. Let cats, who've come back in after hearing the can opener, smell pumpkin can lid and assure them it's nothing they'd like.

  5. Beat in evaporated milk or cream if you're making the ovo-lacto version.

  6. Dump into pie pan and do a quick steering-wheel swerving motion to even it out.

  7. Bake in 450 degree oven for 5 to 10 minutes, until the exposed pie crust looks golden brown and you start to worry that it might burn.

  8. Reduce heat to 350 degrees and bake for another 40 to 45 minutes, or until your penile blood flow increases by 40%.

  9. Test center of pie with knife (or penis) and remove from oven when tester comes out clean.

10. Let cool for a little while and serve with whipped heavy cream, sweetened with Splenda and a splash of vanilla. Or you can sweeten it with pancake-syrup-flavored DaVinci for a special treat. Or you can use Cool Whip for the vegan version.

The way I calculate it, the whole pie has 151 gross carbs, BUT when you subtract out the sugar alcohols and fiber, that figure comes down to 64 grams for the whole pie. Cut that bad boy into 8 pieces and you've got yourself a dandy treat. With whipped cream as described above I think it's still under 10 grams.

binki 5:40 PM |

Today's DaVinci flavor is strawberry. It tastes just like strawberry Jell-O, and that carries through if you put it in seltzer. If you then add a splash of cream, it turns Pepto Bismol pink and tastes just like jello with whipped cream. But fizzy and liquid. Not bad, other than the jarring Beauty School Dropout color.
binki 5:40 PM |

We made a lasagna last night using cabbage leaves instead of noodles. It's a nice idea but in practice didn't work too well. The leaves don't absorb moisture like noodles do, and they never really softened up enough to cut easily, even though B parboiled them and cut out all the tough stems before we assembled the lasagna. I think next time I'll use zucchini, just cut them into strips with the v-slicer. It tasted good, mind you, it was just a bit of a problem to cut up and a little runny. I think the rest of it will improve with each reheat...it's a very big lasagna, since back in the day I insisted on buying a pan big enough to put unbroken noodles in across the short length. This was a Very Good Thing when I was eating pasta, and will be again when science comes up with a decent low-carb pasta, because alternating the noodle direction as you build the layers is the key to making a lasagna that doesn't fall apart.

I made another batch of yogurt, mostly with half and half but with a few ounces of heavy cream in it as well. I didn't think it possible, but this batch is even more celestial than the last one. I'm seriously thinking about making a batch with straight cream. Do I dare to eat that peach? Maybe I'll try it with light cream first, lest I faint from the delicious shock and awe.

I fried up some Taylor Pork Roll this afternoon and, though it was lovely, it totally stank up the house. To me, the obvious solution was to make a batch of niter kebbeh. Worked like a dream. Now I'm hoping B brings me some nice free-range organic chicken wings so I can buffalo them up in case we watch the game. (Hint: TiVo it, wait a couple of hours, zip through the interminable pauses where everybody stands around, and the remaining hour or so is actually not that boring.) I don't give a rat's patoot about the game, really, but it's an excuse for gorging on buffy wings and that's all that matters. I kind of stopped enjoying them when I found out how much fat was in them, but now I don't care about fat and I'm back on board with the concept and practice of WING NIGHT!

One more thing I learned today is the hidden identity of the Davinci chocolate flavor. I didn't like it too much by itself, it was ok in coffee BUT...when you put it in a glass of seltzer with a splash of cream, you realize why the "chocolaty" flavor is indescribable yet so familiar. It's the same kind of ersatz chocolate as they use in Fox's U-Bet, and therefore makes a cracking, yet legal, egg cream.
binki 5:39 PM |

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